First Ballet Photoshoot
Who needs therapy when you can pay someone to point a camera at you and say “Gorgeous”?
Photo Credit: Heather O’Steen Photography
Like many of my obsessions, they start small and then they snowball. I have a feeling that being photographed is another one of these.
A ballet friend told me about the Washington Ballet’s Adult Faculty Concert, designed to celebrate diversity and inclusivity in dance. Participation is open to all adult students but requires audition. Audition! Le gasp! I haven’t auditioned for anything since college. No need to go into details but just know that it was two times, over 10 years ago, and I failed both times. This new workshop audition got my heart racing, not from nerves but from excitement. Unlike a normal human, I actually enjoy auditions, especially as an adult.
One of the most valuable things you lose as an art student when you are an adult is expectation. You don’t have parents to supervise, ahem, I mean to motivate, you; you don’t have teachers who expect you have get into a prestigious school; you don’t have agents who fight for you to get a part; you don’t have audience members who pay to see you for an unforgettable evening in the theatre. You practice for yourself. While I love this freedom and the discipline that a lack of external expectations demands, I miss having something to work towards, a recital, a concert, a photoshoot, etc.
Another aspect of auditioning and performing I find valuable is that of validation, or simply measurement. You want to know if the hard work in a studio has paid off. The Friday Night at the Barre experience a few months ago gave me a real case of theatre bug. I’ve been looking for opportunities to relive that thrill of being on stage ever since. Having said all this, you bet your bottom dollar that I’m signing up to audition for the concert.
I filled in the application quickly with a huge grin on my face, until I hit a snag. Wait, they want a headshot? Inexperienced as I am, I highly doubt they wanted a headshot of the Corporate America variety, you know the type where a person is dressed in a nondescript suit jacket with a smile that says I’m professional but I also love exercising my authority; I love my job but I’m also dead inside; I’m reliable but also don’t bother me… you get the picture, no pun intended.
When I think of ballet headshots, what comes to mind is the photos on the Mariinsky Theatre or American Ballet Theatre websites. The dancers could look romantic, intense, pixie-like, or seductive… I’m always amazed at how much can be portrayed in a single headshot. So when it came time for me to have my own taken, I wasn’t going to settle for an iPhone selfie in my own living room. Not only did I want a high-quality headshot, I also wanted the experience of being photographed by a professional in a studio. (It’s one of my bucket-list items). When I set off to finding a ballet photographer, I quickly realized that it wasn’t as easy as I thought.
First off, ballet photography is a niche area. Of course any good photographer could take a few headshots in a well-lit studio. But I wanted mine to have some artistic flare. Color me vain! There are many photographers who specialize in corporate type work. It wasn’t easy to find someone who specializes in dance photography, or even just have experience doing it. I found someone whose work I liked that she was fully booked till January 2023. And another photographer who charges $799 for a single headshot… (What’s a bigger word than “extortion”?) After many dead ends, I found Heather O’Steen studio. I booked an appointment immediately and spent the rest of the week psyching myself up for the shoot.
Being the nerd that I am, I created a Notion page with all the poses I want to do. Then I went to a gym, put on my pointe shoes, and figured out which ones I actually could do. When you think of ballet photography, I’m sure images of ballerinas in mid-leap, dying gravity or with their legs in impossibly high extensions come to mind. Well, I can’t do any of them. I’m flexible for an average person but by ballet standards I’m stiff as a headboard. So to avoid embarrassing myself or making my photographer uncomfortable, I ended up choosing simple poses, most of which with both of my legs firmly planted on the ground.
On the day of the shoot, I went to the studio an hour before my appointment in order to observe Heather shoot a holiday campaign for a dance wear brand. I love the behind-the-scenes of any artistic endeavor. Knowing how the proverbial sausages are made gives me a better understanding and a deeper appreciation for the art forms. I also just enjoying watching people do what they are good at and love doing. It is very satisfying to see an artist immersed in their craft like they are having an intimate conversation.
When it was my turn to shoot I was surprisingly calm. Heather and I decided to sandwich our ballet shoot between two headshot sessions. When I stepped into the studio light and looked into the camera, I felt almost at ease, which is the complete opposite of how I usually feel in front a camera. Upon reflection I think it’s my trust in the person holding the camera that made all the difference. Heather was warm and encouraging. She let me lead but offered many helpful suggestions. She also showed me the shots from each pose to make sure that I was happy with how they looked. We would quickly analyze the shots and work out ways to make them better, I would then run back to the shooting area and execute the corrections.
I became more confident and relaxed as the shoot went on. We were able to fit in all the poses I had prepared. We finished the shoot with another round of headshots. I think it’s obvious from the photos that I was much more comfortable by the end.
Being photographed is addictive. I wanted to do it again immediately after we wrapped. Being in the spotlight felt just the opposite of being exposed. It was a cocooning solitude when the rest of the world faded away, leaving just you and the camera. You could be anyone you wanted to be. All was a matter of choice and committing to that choice. It was magical.
